Anger and Frustration

Do you get angry and become frustrated easily? Do you sometimes have a short fuse? So do I, so let’s work on this together, OK? This is a common problem in this fast-moving age. We hear frequently of someone being cut off in traffic, following the person home, and either beating, stabbing or shooting the “perpetrator.” Even worse, we hear of cases of a father, mother or, most often, a baby-sitter, boy friend or live-in becoming angry with a baby’s crying, and dash it against a wall, or throw it on the floor. But thankfully, these are rare occurrences. This is not the kind I mean. These people are usually young punks living in sin and puffed up with their own importance. The kind I am thinking of are much more common. We get angry if a line at the super market takes longer than we think it should. In cases like this, we need to develop patience.

Or maybe we can’t tell the difference between a comment and a complaint. If we wear our feelings on our sleeves, or have a chip on our shoulder, almost any comment can be viewed in a negative light, maybe even as an insult, when none was intended. This is likely the cause of many disagreements between husband and wife, employer and employee, brothers in the Faith, etc.

Some people with a short fuse burst out with profanity when confronted with what they view as an adverse situation. Maybe they do it under their breath, but it is still done, and it is a sin. The very word “profane,” from which the word profanity comes, means blasphemous, irreligious, disrespectful, wicked, sacrilegious, irreverent. The opposite (antonym) is “pious,” (holy) which means moral, religious, virtuous, dutiful. We cannot claim to be “moral,” and curse, swear, and use four-letter words, even under our breath, or if we are only thinking them.

In 1 Samuel 25 is the story of a churlish man named Nabal. Read the whole story, then ponder on verses 3, 17 (the servant said he was so ill-natured that no one could speak to him), and verses 37-38. He apparently became so angry when Abigail told him what she had done to save his life, that he had a stroke and was in a coma for 10 days, then he died.

Have you ever known anyone who was so churlish, selfish, conceited, easily offended, that you hesitated to speak to him or her about a fault? I can remember a boss or two I have had in the past who fits this description, and also a supposed-to-be leader of a Yahwist Assembly. But is such a person truly converted? According to the Scriptures, I think not! And, while my and your faults may not so grave, we all have our limitations, don’t we?

So, how do we overcome these faults? If we are really willing to abide in His grace, obey the Teachings, and follow Yahshua’s example, we need to, first, do a self-analysis to see if we have this problem, then pray about it; pray that Yahweh will send His Spirit to show us our sins, lead us into repentance, then search the Scriptures for guidelines that will help. Here are a few examples:

Prov 14:17  “One who is quick-tempered acts foolishly…”  We don’t want to be fools!
Prov 22:24-25 “Make no friends with those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads, or you may learn their ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
We should not want to be like them.
Prov 29:22-23  “An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression. A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.”

Eccl 5:6-7  “Do not let your mouth lead you into sin, and do not say before the messenger that it was a mistake; why should Elohim be angry at your words, and destroy the work of your hands?  With many dreams come vanities and a multitude of words; but fear Elohim.”

Mat 5:22  But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca [this means “you worthless, empty one!”], shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

 [This means the ever-burning fire of Gehenna, Jerusalem’s garbage dump, NOT a place of eternal torture].

We see from this verse that there is a just cause to be angry. One example is found in Matthew 23, where Yahshua roundly blasted the Scribes and Pharisees for their purposeful blindness and for their evil misleading of the people.

Eph 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

This is a very important point – if you have a controversy with someone and either of you become angry with the other, make it right that day. Do not wait – don’t let a new day start until it is resolved. Apologize and repent, even if you feel you were the one wronged. Don’t hold grudges.

Here is something for Assembly leaders to ponder on:

Titus 1:7-9  For a bishop, as Yahweh's steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or addicted to wine or violent or greedy for gain; but he must be hospitable, a lover of goodness, prudent, upright, devout, and self-controlled. He must have a firm grasp of the word that is trustworthy in accordance with the teaching, so that he may be able both to preach with sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it.

A man with an anger problem cannot do this. We face those who want to refute, argue, etc., almost every day. If we lose our self-control and respond in an angry way, even if we are right doctrinally, we are wrong – we lose the argument. If we cannot control our emotions, then we should resign our position until we do regain control. 

There are a few examples of righteous anger in Scripture. One of them is found in Mark 3:1-5. Let’s look at verse 5:

Mark 3:5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

The Pharisees were condemning him for healing a man’s withered hand on the Sabbath, yet He had said it is permissible to do good on the Sabbath day. There’s the example of “the ox in the ditch” [Luke 14:5-6]. and watering livestock on the Sabbath, yet they condemned Him for healing a person on the Sabbath..

Luke 13:15-16  The Master then answered him, and said, Thou hypocrite, doth not each one of you on the sabbath loose his ox or his ass from the stall, and lead him away to watering? And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan hath bound, lo, these eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the sabbath day?

We are told that if we who teach lead someone astray, we will reap the greater punishment. We shall be judged more harshly than they. If we show anger, pride, ego, arrogance, and cannot control our tongues, then we are teaching wrongly by our example.

(James 3:1-14 NRSV)  "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. {2} For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle. {3} If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies. {4} Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.

{5} So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! {6} And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. {7} For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, {8} but no one can tame the tongue--a restless evil, full of deadly poison. {9} With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. {10} From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

{11} Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? {12} Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh. {13} Who is wise and understanding among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. {14} But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be boastful and false to the truth."

It has been truthfully said that we should teach Yahshua to others, NOT by our WORDS so much, but by letting other people SEE Yahshua IN US!  We should be living as He lived – He was and is our example.

I have two articles that will help you with this topic. One is a reprint from “Hebrew Roots,” by Dean and Susan Wheelock, called, “LaShon Hara, the Evil Tongue,” and another that I wrote, called, “The Power of Speech.” I invite you to write for these and study them, especially if you have trouble in this area. And above all else, make a sincere effort to turn this problem over to Yahweh in your prayers, and let Him handle it!  FB ~